something that you wouldn't know.

how i really wish that you are the one that i can see when i woke up from my nightmare ?
how i really wish that you are the one that comfort me when my heart starts to tremble ?
how i really wish that you are the one that gives me your shoulder when i burst my tears ?
how i really wish that you are the one that can fill the gaps between my fingers ?
how i really wish that you are the one that sings me lullaby every time i can't sleep because the whole day i'm staying up imagining you by my side ..

perhaps my lil' heart needs a few space for recovery . there are too much "how i wish .." that i know i can't have . maybe a dream will just remain as a dream .

and each time i try to love, the feeling suddenly goes away somehow .. i can't find where the flaws are . maybe it is because i'm still holding on the uncertain possibilities ..

i'm blaming myself for keep on tripping and falling for you . i'm cursing my mind for keep on thinking about you when i don't want to . i'll live with my own imagination . don't worry, i'm okay .

it is just my well state of being . i cried not because i'm weak, but it shows how strong i still can stand after the non stop storms and thunder. no doubt; it ignites my spirit even more.

one day, i caught myself staring at mirror. searching for who i really am . but then i realise something .. my heart is still beating . and i am still alive . i'm breathing . yes i am .. i'm alive for reasons . GOD, thank you .

" Love is like a war, easy to start, hard to end, and impossible to forget. " - anonymous .